


A long twitter rant

by MMEGmo



Category: non specific
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-07
Updated: 2017-03-07
Packaged: 2018-09-30 09:45:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10160480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MMEGmo/pseuds/MMEGmo
Summary: Something I wrote in class when I was supposed to do work.Trigger warning, suicide, self harm.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Something I wrote in class when I was supposed to do work.  
> Trigger warning, suicide, self harm.

It pains me to say it but I miss the old days. Not "old days" as in when I was 5 years old and running around naked. By "old days" I mean a year ago, which feels like so far away. Not "far away" timewise. By "far away" I mean that it feels distant, like there's a wall between me and those times. 

Why would I miss those times? Well, at the time I felt invinsible. No one could hurt me because I was already hurt past my limits. It felt good to be sad all the time. It felt good to be ready to die at any moment. It felt good to fall into a hole of pain. I don't know why it did, it makes me feel crazy, but I can't change what I feel. I miss the old days because  _he_ used to be there.  _He_ still is, just not as present as he once was. I don't know why I even want him, he tried to make me kill myself multiple times. In a way I get him though. He felt was I was feeling, he would be stupid not to try to get me to do  _it_. I was in so much pain that only death could help, at the time. He changed though, he really changed. He became this person that it felt like I had been missing my whole life. I say "my whole life" while my life so young. 

At times I feel that I shouldn't complain. People have it worse. There's people with scars up and down their bodies and I'm complaining about an imaginery friend that "tried to make me kill myself". I shouldn't be here, the world should be filled with people that deserve it, people that have had it horrible and that need to get their reward for having it that way. Not only am I alive, but I want to be something big too, which is even worse. I shouldn't want that. I shouldn't get a good life, there's way more deserving people. Take this text I'm writing as an exemple. You can probably find multiple spelling errors, grammar mistakes and just words that don't go together. I'm not thinking about the rules of writing right now. 

I wish I could say all this in a beautiful poem or something like that, but I don't have the energy to write wonderful rhymes about this ugly topic. 

I wish I could say it all, but I've forgotten a lot, but I'm stuck with the feeling of it all


End file.
